what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize