His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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