How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
