I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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