I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
