Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
