I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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