me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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