But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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