and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
