what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
