More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
