I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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