it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
