He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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