I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
