DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
