Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
