Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize