I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize