We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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