Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I could fuck to npr.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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