She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
