Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
