So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
