If i come over, it means nothing
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
