I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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