So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
