My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
