she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
