Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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