if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
