I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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