My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
