MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
