And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
