I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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