maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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