ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
