I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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