why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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