if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize