Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize