This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize