I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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