I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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