So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
