When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
