i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
