how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
