Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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