I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
