with your own penis?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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