I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
