dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
