i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
