You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
