I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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