They should really pass out barf bags in church
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
