i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
